I'm back but I don't know how long for :( time is an issue at the moment with the girls being on their school holidays and work and house work and and and .......... !
The girls were doing my head in until a few weeks ago, especially my middle daughter! I didn't know what to do or how to deal with her constant tantrums???? In the end I had to google her behaviour.
She is quite clearly frustrated and very hard on herself and was finding the day to day dealing with the competition and frustration of her sisters difficult, after about an hour of searching and reading other mothers testimonies I came across a feed that I thought might help her through these time.
The woman was feeling the same way as I was ( but with her son ) and did the same as me and came across another blog that helped her, but she started out by describing her sons problems and went on to write about how she delt with them.
I am now writhing this in order to help other frustrated mothers out there that might not be so luck to come across her blog like I did.....
Like I said, my middle daughter was easily frustrated and not one of my daughters was being respectful to the others! The day after reading the blog I sat my girls down for a chat ( they like to get involved with little chats like this so no problem there ) we talked about respect! I told them what they should respect who they should respect and how to be respectful (something I thought they should have or at least my eldest (7) should have learnt about in school by now but apparently not!)
I asked them all how they would feel if the others would respect their space if they started to feel frustrated or angry about a situation and they all said they would feel happier. I went on to tell them about this womans post I had read about and told them that her children asked their siblings to respect their words and respect their space if they had been asked to be left alone or if a sibling had been playing with their things and the child didn't want them to, to ask them politely not to play with their things and to please respect their words.
It did take a while for my girls used to using this and how to use it properly but they have now got the hang of it (with reminders now and then) and to be honest I'm really pleased with the results and have even started to use it myself (towards them), I get a better response from them ( most of the time) and life seems a little more calm and peaceful.
I want to add that we all still have bad days when not one of us remembers to use this and our day starts going to pot but all we have to do is remember what we want from each other and it is in place again!
I'm hoping that this will come in handy for at least one mother like it did for me. my middle child seems to be able to sort out her own problems with out me having to intervene and this I'm very happy for..